So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i will never coherently bang her
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
