this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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