I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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