U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
