i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
