Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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