He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
