I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
