yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't put those talents on a resume
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
