Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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