I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
