your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You took a bar mat shot.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
