Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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