It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
