Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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