Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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