i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
