Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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