my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
