As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
