He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize