I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
