Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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