Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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