when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
