If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
