and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
