i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
