OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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