I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize