I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
