Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
