Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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