I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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