We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
