Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
