Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
