i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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