omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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