i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
