Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
how drunk are you?
Several
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
