so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
