Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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