Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
