big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
