So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
