wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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