too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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