Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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