Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize