Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
