Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
