i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
