dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
