I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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