Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
