Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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