He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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