My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
