I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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