I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
