ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
