I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
