She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
